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| Source: Captured enemy-documents |
For Victor, the firefights he had been part of were moments
of awakening. As he encountered more near death experiences,
and as he lost more comrades in battle, he began to profoundly
question what they were truly fighting for. The spill of blood and
the reality of death is a constant weight bearing down on his
conscience, and to every CPP-NPA-NDF cadre.
“You don’t just lose lives from your team, but your enemy loses also their own members with families to feed, leaving behind grief-stricken spouses, children, and parents who need to live on and survive. It bears on your conscience even though you see yourself as a revolutionary or a hardcore communist cadre with strong ideological beliefs and foundation. You see, it really doesn’t make sense especially that we are fighting – and tragically killing – fellow Filipinos too,” Victor shared.
“You don’t just lose lives from your team, but your enemy loses also their own members with families to feed, leaving behind grief-stricken spouses, children, and parents who need to live on and survive. It bears on your conscience even though you see yourself as a revolutionary or a hardcore communist cadre with strong ideological beliefs and foundation. You see, it really doesn’t make sense especially that we are fighting – and tragically killing – fellow Filipinos too,” Victor shared.
It’s a constant challenge to true revolutionary leaders to maintain the emotional strength, confidence, fighting will, and war footing of their troops and comrades. Victor had been a leader and the task to keep up morale bore heavily on him, and the questions and doubts kept tugging on him. However, the dubious actions of his superiors in the CPP-NPA-NDF were starting to bother him. On top of these, his own family needs were also jostling for attention. “What place do they really occupy in my heart, alongside my commitment to the revolutionary cause?” Victor mused.
--THE WARS WITHIN (2020/Copy&Share)
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